It's a national holiday. December 29th.
Google images "msharp day"
result:
Sunday, December 26, 2010
john.mark.mcmillan
I want to be him...
No. Not really.
I want to be his friend so I could listen to him all the time.
http://johnmarkmcmillan.wordpress.com/
http://shop.trespropaganda.com/johnmark/category-all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJDguHJ34SE&feature=related
No. Not really.
I want to be his friend so I could listen to him all the time.
http://johnmarkmcmillan.wordpress.com/
http://shop.trespropaganda.com/johnmark/category-all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJDguHJ34SE&feature=related
Friday, December 17, 2010
What You Didn't Know Was That an Eight Legged Donkey Brings Your Christmas Presents
In the Netherlands and Belgium, Saint Nicolas, ("Sinterklaas", often called "De Goede Sint" — "The Good Saint") is aided by helpers commonly known as Zwarte Piet in Dutch ("Black Peter") or "Père Fouettard" in French. "Santa Claus" sounds very similar to the Dutch "Sinterklaas", so much so that for a Dutch person the origin of the name "Santa Claus" is obvious; it's just "Sinterklaas" with an English accent.[23]
His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts. However, in the Netherlands the Dutch celebrate on the evening of December 5, with a celebration called "pakjesavond". In the Reformation in 16th-17th century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, and the date for giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[24]
The folklore of Saint Nicolas has many parallels with Germanic mythology, in particular with the god Odin. These include the beard, hat and spear (nowadays a staff) and the cloth bag held by servants to capture naughty children.Both Saint Nicolas and Odin ride white horses that can fly through the air; the white eight-legged steed of Odin is named Sleipnir (although Sleipnir is more commonly depicted as gray). The letters made of candy given by the Zwarte Pieten to children evokes the invention of the rune letters by Odin. The poems recited during the celebration and the songs the children sing relate to Odin as a god of poetry.
There are various explanations of the origins of the helpers. The oldest explanation is that the helpers symbolize the two ravens Hugin and Munin who informed Odin on what was going on. In later stories the helper depicts the defeated devil. The devil is defeated by either Odin or his helper Nörwi, the black father of the night. Nörwi is usually depicted with the same staff of birch (Dutch: "roe") as Zwarte Piet.
Another, more modern story is that Saint Nicolas liberated an Ethiopian slave boy called 'Piter' (from Saint Peter) from a Myra market, and the boy was so grateful he decided to stay with Saint Nicolas as a helper. With the influx of immigrants to the Netherlands starting in the late 1950s, this story is felt by some to be racist.[25] Today, Zwarte Pieten have become modern servants, who have black faces because they climb down sooty chimneys. They hold chimney cleaning tools (cloth bag and staff of birch).[26]
Presents given during the feast are often accompanied by poems, some simple, some quite elaborate pieces of art that mock events in the past year relating to the recipient. The gifts themselves may be just an excuse for the wrapping, which can also be quite elaborate. The more serious gifts may be reserved for the next morning. Since the giving of presents is Sinterklaas's job, presents are traditionally not given at Christmas in the Netherlands, although presents at Christmas are gaining popularity with families with older children or none.
The Zwarte Pieten have roughly the same relationship to the Dutch Saint Nicolas that the elves have to America's Santa Claus. According to tradition, the saint has a Piet for every function: there are navigation Pieten ("wegwijspiet") to navigate the steamboat from Spain to Holland, and acrobatic Pieten to climb roofs and stuff presents down the chimney, or to climb down the chimneys themselves. Over the years many stories have been added. In many cases the Pieten are quite bad at their job, for instance the navigation Piet might point in the wrong direction. This provides some comedy in the annual parade of Saint Nicolas coming to the Netherlands, and can also be used to laud the progress of children at school by having the Piet give the wrong answer to, for example, a simple question like "what is 2+2?", so that the child can give the right answer.
In Netherlands and Belgium the character of Santa Claus, as known in the United States (with his white beard, red and white outfit, etc.), is known as de Kerstman in Dutch ("the Christmas man") and Père Noël ("Father Christmas") in French. He is distinct from Sinterklaas, although they both wear read and have white beards. Although for kids Sinterklaas is the predominant gift-giver in the Netherlands in December (36% of the population only give presents on Sinterklaas day), Christmas is used by another fifth of the Dutch population to give presents. (21% give presents on Christmas only). Some 26% of the Dutch population give presents on both days.[27] In Belgium, presents are given to children only, but to almost all of them, on Sinterklaas day. On Christmas Day, everybody receives presents, but often without Santa Claus' help.
His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts. However, in the Netherlands the Dutch celebrate on the evening of December 5, with a celebration called "pakjesavond". In the Reformation in 16th-17th century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, and the date for giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.[24]
The folklore of Saint Nicolas has many parallels with Germanic mythology, in particular with the god Odin. These include the beard, hat and spear (nowadays a staff) and the cloth bag held by servants to capture naughty children.Both Saint Nicolas and Odin ride white horses that can fly through the air; the white eight-legged steed of Odin is named Sleipnir (although Sleipnir is more commonly depicted as gray). The letters made of candy given by the Zwarte Pieten to children evokes the invention of the rune letters by Odin. The poems recited during the celebration and the songs the children sing relate to Odin as a god of poetry.
There are various explanations of the origins of the helpers. The oldest explanation is that the helpers symbolize the two ravens Hugin and Munin who informed Odin on what was going on. In later stories the helper depicts the defeated devil. The devil is defeated by either Odin or his helper Nörwi, the black father of the night. Nörwi is usually depicted with the same staff of birch (Dutch: "roe") as Zwarte Piet.
Another, more modern story is that Saint Nicolas liberated an Ethiopian slave boy called 'Piter' (from Saint Peter) from a Myra market, and the boy was so grateful he decided to stay with Saint Nicolas as a helper. With the influx of immigrants to the Netherlands starting in the late 1950s, this story is felt by some to be racist.[25] Today, Zwarte Pieten have become modern servants, who have black faces because they climb down sooty chimneys. They hold chimney cleaning tools (cloth bag and staff of birch).[26]
Presents given during the feast are often accompanied by poems, some simple, some quite elaborate pieces of art that mock events in the past year relating to the recipient. The gifts themselves may be just an excuse for the wrapping, which can also be quite elaborate. The more serious gifts may be reserved for the next morning. Since the giving of presents is Sinterklaas's job, presents are traditionally not given at Christmas in the Netherlands, although presents at Christmas are gaining popularity with families with older children or none.
The Zwarte Pieten have roughly the same relationship to the Dutch Saint Nicolas that the elves have to America's Santa Claus. According to tradition, the saint has a Piet for every function: there are navigation Pieten ("wegwijspiet") to navigate the steamboat from Spain to Holland, and acrobatic Pieten to climb roofs and stuff presents down the chimney, or to climb down the chimneys themselves. Over the years many stories have been added. In many cases the Pieten are quite bad at their job, for instance the navigation Piet might point in the wrong direction. This provides some comedy in the annual parade of Saint Nicolas coming to the Netherlands, and can also be used to laud the progress of children at school by having the Piet give the wrong answer to, for example, a simple question like "what is 2+2?", so that the child can give the right answer.
In Netherlands and Belgium the character of Santa Claus, as known in the United States (with his white beard, red and white outfit, etc.), is known as de Kerstman in Dutch ("the Christmas man") and Père Noël ("Father Christmas") in French. He is distinct from Sinterklaas, although they both wear read and have white beards. Although for kids Sinterklaas is the predominant gift-giver in the Netherlands in December (36% of the population only give presents on Sinterklaas day), Christmas is used by another fifth of the Dutch population to give presents. (21% give presents on Christmas only). Some 26% of the Dutch population give presents on both days.[27] In Belgium, presents are given to children only, but to almost all of them, on Sinterklaas day. On Christmas Day, everybody receives presents, but often without Santa Claus' help.
101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
42. Call him Tommy-boy.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'
46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.
55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....
63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.
68. Tell him Lucius did it.
69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his baldness.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.
101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.
Thank you Google, now I know. :0
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
42. Call him Tommy-boy.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'
46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.
55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....
63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.
68. Tell him Lucius did it.
69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his baldness.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.
101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.
Thank you Google, now I know. :0
Friday, December 10, 2010
Starbucks Craze
Today, a friend and I went to Starbucks to get drinks and get out of the house. While I was there I realized how popular Starbucks is. People are drawn there. Like iron particles to a magnet. People go to Starbucks for anything; to reconnect with an old friend, ponder about their lives, catch up on homework, do art, get out of the house(my current case), to get warm, tastey drinks, to sleep, et al.
"Sleep?!", you may say.
"Yes, sleep" would be my response.
When I walked in to the Starbucks that I am in right now I stumbled upon a man dead asleep at a table. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt; he might be suffering from extreme jet lag, or his wife might have given him the boot. Who knows? Certainly not I.
Still don't believe me? How about some visual proof?
I guess the point I am trying to get across is that people are using Starbucks as their homes!!!! C'mon little unknown local coffee shops! Take over!
"Sleep?!", you may say.
"Yes, sleep" would be my response.
When I walked in to the Starbucks that I am in right now I stumbled upon a man dead asleep at a table. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt; he might be suffering from extreme jet lag, or his wife might have given him the boot. Who knows? Certainly not I.
Still don't believe me? How about some visual proof?
I guess the point I am trying to get across is that people are using Starbucks as their homes!!!! C'mon little unknown local coffee shops! Take over!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Results of Insomnia
Madison Sharp
H English 10
Period 3
October 26, 2010
Creating Suspense: Stanley
(DISCLAIMER: I am neither a lunatic or on drugs, I just haven’t slept in days)
Stanley (from The Office) thought he heard someone in the house. He heard the sound of a fork scraping across teeth. That is his least favorite noise; the very thought of it drives him to insanity. His roommate, Irving, is quite annoying and knows how much Stanley hates that sound so he tends to do it quite often. Thinking the noise was Irving, Stanley groaned in disgust and whispered “Why Irving?!” as he crossed the threshold into the living room. Stanley looked around in shock when he heard Slayer playing faintly. He thought this was odd because he does not have any music devices in his apartment. He looked up to see Satan sitting on his couch. “Hey Satan.” Stanley continued farther into his living room and stopped suddenly when he smelled the undeniable scent of Shia Lebouf. This scent brought back many memories of when he stalked Shia. He started stalking him to get his autograph, but after a week Stanley grew attached to Shia. He loved his most recent films and the way his hair curled slightly at the top of his head and Shia’s perfect face. Soon following Shia became an obsession that Stanley couldn’t stop. The police had to get involved and Stanley spent the night in the county jail to think about his actions. He sat in the jail cell and said “I’m in the wrong here.” Because of his confession the cops let him out.
Back in the living room Stanley wallowed in his memories. Little did Stanley know Shia Lebouf became fond of Stanley stalking him. Shia became overwhelmed without Stanley so he started stalking him. Shia was in the hallway closet, he tended to bite on forks when he was nervous. That’s where the sound came from. Stanley finished his memory recollection and started for the kitchen so he could make tea. He saw Baman and Piderman making cakes on the floor of his kitchen. Piderman used his Pidey-web to pull himself across the kitchen floor over to the oven. Stanley’s only thought was “How can Baman walk if he has no bones in his legs?” Startled by his own thought Stanley desperately searched for an answer to why he was acting so calm to Satan in his living room and animated cartoon characters in his kitchen. He decided he must be on a certain drug. Stanley recalled hearing that anti-depressants would counter the drug he thought he was on. Stanley felt uncertain about his methods, so he decided not to do that.
“I wish I knew what was happening.” Stanley decided to make himself some tea to stop the visions. That didn’t happen. Overcome by the urge to show himself, Shia Lebouf jumped out of the closet.
“Hey”
Stanley turned around “oh, hey”
“So, how’s it going?”
They were standing quite awkwardly in Stanley’s hallway. During that time Stanley was worried about the restraining order Shia had on him. Stanley remembered that. He remembered feeling such joy, for that was the first time Shia had talked to him. He decided to push that memory away.
“It’s going good… You know, since I stopped stalking you. How are things with you?”
Shia became worried and debated within himself whether or not to tell Stanley that he had been stalking him. He decided to tell Stanley the truth. “Let’s take a drive.”
Stanley and Shia got in the car and Shia began to tell Stanley the truth. Stanley took the news relatively well. He informed Shia that this was normal, it tends to happen. He knew only because he used to be stalked by a crazed ‘The Office’ fan. Stanley suddenly became distracted by a barking noise coming from outside the car. He looked to see a stray dog barking at their car. Fearlessly, Stanley got out of the car and went to rescue to dog. The dog dashed across the street, Stanley followed. While crossing the street a car swung around the sharp corner and hit Stanley. Shia, witnessing this, decided to get a closer look. He inched forward in the car until he was right in front of Stanley. He was shocked at how little Stanley was affected by the car. In his state of shock, Shia slammed his foot on the gas and ran over Stanley’s head.
Stanley sat up, startled by the events he had just experienced. He rubbed his eyes, and then realized it was all a dream or an acid trip.
The End
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Dear girl who sits to the left of me in math (whatever your name is),,
"and I was on my tip toes because he is like six feet taller than me" oh, you are telling a story... during class... cool.
You are stupid. I don't want to hear your giggles and glees and drama at 7 in the morning! Shut up.
kthx. loves.
"and I wrap my arms around his head and he has his arms on my waist and we kiss. It was so cute." yeah, could be cute... but that whole 'my arms wrapped around his head' thing? I get weird images.
"Like three weeks later we broke up. But sixth grade was so much better than that year anyways." WHAT? YOU WERE IN FIFTH GRADE?!?!! How?!
kthx. loves.
Dear People,
I have decided to write notes to people that bug/intrigue/confuse/enlighten/entertain me. I'm not sure what to call these "notes" in fact, some of them aren't notes as much as a bunch of letters and symbols that come out of my mouth in a psycho rage. I think I will call them "Dear People(insert specification here)," Does that sound good? Well, I don't care. That's what it is going to be.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Who Would Win?
The Question Mark vs. The Exclamation Point
QUESTION MARK:
What can you say about a symbol that always needs to yell to get its point across? What kind of vacuous content is exclamation point making with its unwavering vehemence? Why can't it simply relax? What are the issues that drive this punctuation bully? What is it overcompensating for? Doesn't it have the least bit of curiosity? Doesn't it have an iota of wonder in the wide world? Does it merely shout to drown out the painful voices in its blood-rushed head? And have I not made my point? Or should I say "mark"?
EXCLAMATION POINT:
Shut up! Stupid curvy wuss! Oh, look at me and my inquisitive curious soul! UP YOURS! Hey, we don't need your help capitalization! I can just double up for extra EMPHASIS!! See, I yelled that line!!! And that one even louder! What's a question mark going to do, double up on itself for extra inquiry emphasis?? Look how dumb that looks! Point made! And watch your ass, comma! You're next!
FURTHER DEBATE:
Italics vs. Underline
The colon vs. Semi-colon
& vs. 'n'
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Ditcher Ditcher Pumpkin Pitcher
Had a wife that asked to itcher.
My school has this dumb rule that you CANNOT leave campus during any break or lunch without a note from your parental units. But they don't enforce it... at all. So there.
Today is the lovely "Take the PSAT Test" day. Oh joy, my heart is so happy you have no idea... really. Anywhoozle, I had to take the PSAT today, I finished early and was very bored. We had this "break" during which you could get food from the vendy, use the toilet, take a walk, all that jazz. I decided to go to McDonalds and indulge in two McDoubles. Yeah, that's right. Not one but two. I'm a winner(also morbidly obese).
As this might not sway anyone(because no one reads blogs) but I felt pretty BA doing so. Not only did I go to McDonalds but, I succeeded in getting lost and exploring all of downtown ABQ in the epic search for "home". By "home" I mean "McDonalds".
So my attitude of the day just ended about four minutes ago. My attitude was very "meh. whatever. no biggie." But now I care about things. Boo. :\
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Today,
Google directed me towards a website. Normal yes? No. In fact this website was so abnormal, I decided to share (because so many people read blogs). It is called "Clever Things to Say". I think it is appropriate for all ages/days/times of the year/ species. Therefore, let this be known: YOU, dear reader, will have an abundance of clever things to say. In fact clever words should be spewing out of your mouth non stop. This I find an acceptable reason to be clever, witty, and sometimes sassy.
http://www.cleverthingstosay.com/
Also, click on the "Dark Humor" link on the right hand side. One of my favorites.
http://www.cleverthingstosay.com/
Also, click on the "Dark Humor" link on the right hand side. One of my favorites.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
I-HEART
Recently I have watched Hillsong's newest DVD and it makes me want to go out and change the world. Because I cannot go to Africa or Hong Kong at the moment I signed up at I-HEART.org to give ideas and encourage other people. I think YOU should do the same.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Tape Knobbing
Stuck in the house with no entertainment?
My friends at latenightideas.com came up with a solution to that problem.
Tape knobbing, my friends, is a very addicting game.
What you do:
Find a good roll of tape. Painters tape and masking tape work well. Duct tape is acceptable.
Stand seven feet away from the door knob
Spend hours trying new ways to hook the roll of tape on the knob.
If you don't have a good round door knob (like those curvy-swirly do nonsense knobs) move or replace all door knobs in your home.
Enjoy and check out latenightideas.com
:)
Monday, August 16, 2010
....
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain
Saturday, August 14, 2010
A House of Cards
I'm absolutely terrible at building card houses. But one night a couple of friends decided it would be fun, it was. My cards kept falling over and I got frustrated, but eventually conquered over all and made a giant house of cards. Which were knocked over moments after I finished.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
daisy
daisy, give yourself away
look up at the rain
the beautiful display
of power and surrender
giving us today
when you yourself away
rain, another rainy day
it comes up from the ocean
to give herself away
she comes down even
and all of us the same name
when you give yourself away
let it go
daisy let it go
open up your fists
this fallen world
doesn't hold your interest
doesn't hold your soul
daisy let it go
pain, give yourself a name
call yourself contrition
aberits of fame
giving isn't easy
if anybody'd like to say
if you give yourself away
daisy, why another day
why another sunrise
who's gonna take the blame
for our redemptive motion
and every rainy day
when he gives himself away
let it go
daisy let it go
open your fists
this fallen world
it doesn't hold your interest
it doesn't hold your soul
daisy let it go
I'm Shot
I had to get vaccinated for school today. Well, actually I was supposed to get shots last year but failed in doing so. I got the ten year follow up Tetnus shot. Needless to say, my arm is sore. After the shot my mum and I found an estate sale and decided to drop in to look for a desk. I was standing outside marveling at a bicycle that is the same brand as mine. (Raleigh) A mosquito bit me right underneath my Garfield bandage. ouch...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Just A Thought To Share
This past year, I have been holding luncheons for 8th grade girls at my school. we called our meetings INFINITElove. We used a quote that i made up "In the midst of it all God is there and provides you with someone who cares." We were discussing our lack of picture on our facebook page so i decided to look online for a picture. being 'creative' i typed "infinite love" into the search bar. I completely bypassed the thought of looking for a picture and ended up reading an article. in this article two quotes that i admire were used.
the first was: "love makes your soul crawl out of it's hiding place." -zoe neale huston
the second was: "Love is a symbol of eternity; it wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and fear of an end." unknown.
i like those. :)
the first was: "love makes your soul crawl out of it's hiding place." -zoe neale huston
the second was: "Love is a symbol of eternity; it wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and fear of an end." unknown.
i like those. :)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Psalm 30:5
For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning
Sing it Out - Switchfoot
I'm on the run
I'm on the ropes this time
Where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
Where is the sun?
Feel like a ghost this time
Where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on to you
My world is wrong
My world is a lie that's come true
And I fall in love
With the ones that run me through
When all along all I need is you
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
I'm on the ropes this time
Where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
Where is the sun?
Feel like a ghost this time
Where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
I'm holding on
I'm holding on to you
My world is wrong
My world is a lie that's come true
And I fall in love
With the ones that run me through
When all along all I need is you
Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody
Sing it out
Sing out loud
I can't find the words to sing
You'd be my remedy
My song
My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me
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